This weekend, I have been mainly sleep deprived and/or crying my eyes out.
In other words, I am slightly bricking it.
It must be natural to feel a bit emotional. After all, there is a lot at stake. No matter how well I've prepared myself for this (and I really have - I've put a lot on hold this year, knowing I was here temporarily) I am a bit taken aback at how I feel.
Let's start at the beginning. I don't think I've mentioned this previously, but soon after Benjy's untimely death at the beginning of the month, my parents brought home Louis:
He's a lovely little doglet, despite being both ginger and very nippy. He's getting bigger (and more naughty) every week.
I'm sad that I won't be there to see him grow up. He's brought a lot of happiness to my parents, so at least I can take some solace from that, probably.
That's the 'hello' of the week; the rest are all 'goodbyes'.
They're the main reason for the aforementioned sleep deprivation and tears.
On a lighthearted note, I begin with the SNES.
For the uninitiated (!!!) this stands for 'Super Nintendo Entertainment System'. The console was manufactured in the late 80s and is probably as old as me. We've had it since we were kids, and many happy hours have been well spent in its company.
|Pictured - the source of much happiness and joy for the past 2 decades|
I swore I'd do it by the time I left for Israel. Unfortunately, other stuff got in the way and it hasn't happened. I relinquished the SNES to my brother, more of whom later. It has now become a 30 year challenge. He better not wipe my game.
As for the other goodbyes, a few of my friends, for various legitimate reasons, won't be coming to visit me. This is the last time I'll be seeing them until I visit next year.
I guess emigrants have to be realistic. Who knows what will happen ? It's much more difficult to keep in touch across time zones. Or sometimes, when people meet and grow close, over whatever time period, it's because the conditions are conducive to it - be they proximity, interests, work etc. Kept constant, these help a relationship grow. Change one small factor, it's much more difficult. A lot of the goodbyes this weekend were no exception.
My brother and sister-in-law to be also came down from Edinburgh this weekend to sort wedding stuff, including bridesmaid dresses. If you're interested, bridesmaid dress shopping, whilst borderline-asleep, is an exciting and even hallucinogenic experience. We found a nice dress which will look good on us all. I just hope I won't ruin this effect by gaining the infamous 'aliya-15'.
The next time I'll see them in person will be at their wedding. Since we've grown up, my bro and I have inevitably become less close. This is natural. Since he moved to the 'Burgh, I see him intermittently anyway. We both have our own lives, as happens when siblings grow up.
Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, or the daunting packing, or the whole weekend generally, but I've been in a bit of a state since I said goodbye earlier.
This is not helped by the packing process, which is such a traumatic experience - frustrating, space-invading and mostly futile - that I can really only bring myself to explain it through the medium of pictures.
Olim are permitted to bring 60kg of luggage spread across 3 bags, which sounds like a lot. Had I fulfilled my aliya plans back in 2010, or even 2012, I could've been fine with this. As it stands now, even after all of the chucking and donating, it's remarkably unrealistic.
At 5pm, I began, all purposeful-like. I set out my cases neatly, together with the packing I had already done:
Even Corny was having fun, and decided to join me in the endeavour:
|'So we're going on an adventure?'|
By 6.30 pm, after weighing each bag, only to find them significantly over the 20kg limit, I unpacked and started again:
|Despite this being one of the cutest things I've seen, it helped very little practically and emotionally.|
|Ok this at least helped to flatten the clothes. And fill them with cat hair.|
Corny soon got bored, and by 8.30pm, I had to start all over again. The 'packing' looked like this:
I despair. It's enough to make me regret the aliya decision in the first place.
Maybe I'll just stay.