Wednesday, 28 January 2015

At last...!

I've now been in Tel Aviv for a month. I really never thought I could be this happy...ever. Despite all of the awful things that have been happening in Israel and around the world since I initially began drafting this post, things are pretty. Frickin'. Sweet.

Let us kick off with exciting things: here are the latest batch of my articles for A tongue in cheek response that the writers have gone into hiding, as satire is dangerous after 'Charlie Hebdo'; How all of the shit happening is most likely G-d messing with us; the sudden resurgence of Al-Qaeda, a la Eminem; How Saudi Arabia is secretly gay and trying to rid itself of women and how, following Eminem's shock (FAKE) announcement that he will be converting to Judaism, how Kim Kartrashian will be following suit. Not bad, eh?

Life in Tel Aviv is pretty frickin' awesome - I'm out and about a lot, there's always stuff to do and people to see.My job is great - I work in a really fun, young company, everyone is really lovely and there are all the free biscuits a girl could dream of (ok, so mostly they don't filter down to my floor, but lately I have been going on biscuit hunts on other floors, so I've had an excellent variety to sample). I feel much more in my element and comfortable in TLV, not to say that I don't miss Jerusalem because I do, in a weird way. I'm back there at least once a week anyway, so it's like I'm getting the best of both worlds.

And stuff is only going to get more exciting - on Sunday, I move into my own place with Deborah, located on one of the most exciting streets in the world - Dizengoff. It is a street that has been intertwined with my every experience of Israel in the past 10 years. To actually move there on my own terms and with someone I'm comfortable with, seems almost symbolic, like everything is coming full circle (FINALLY).

And and and - I'm scouting around for a new ulpan to go, in the evenings near where I work. This means I can continue developing the Hebrew I have already acquired, and one day, with practise I may even be something approaching fluent.

You see, the issue of actually practising Hebrew speaking is a bit of a touchy subject with Anglos (the ironically funny name given to native English speakers; ironic because we are not descended from the Anglo-Saxons, who had little to no Jewish blood in them. While the Anglo-Saxons were ravaging Britain, the 'Anglos' ancestors would have been in Jerusalem, schlepping about, kvetching, balaganing and such like). Whenever an Anglo, of any level of Hebrew proficiency, attempts to go native and speak their adopted language, their attempts are mostly futile.

For Israelis, detecting an accent means one of several things -
1. The Anglo's accent is sexy. Or funny. Or both. In any case, the Anglo must be told this immediately and repeatedly.
2. The Anglo can't speak Hebrew for shit, and the Israeli tries to 'help them out' by switching to English.
3. Suddenly, the Israeli has a great opportunity to practise their English with a native English speaker (because language lessons are expensive).
4. The Anglo is fresh meat and this is the Israeli's chance to befriend them/date them/continue the conversation for as long as possible for any number of other weird reasons (and believe me, some of these reasons don't get much weirder...).

...and each of these occur towards me frequently. It's amazing I even bother still trying sometimes...but I must. And I do. I did not go through that entire ulpan just to not speak the Hebrew I picked up. Damn straight.

I think this may be my most boring blog post yet. For once in my life, I have nothing much to report - everything is great, I'm happy, I feel fulfilled and like I have some potential, a real direction and that everything is as it should be.

For the first time in quite a while, there is no drama anywhere in my surrounding environs (THANK GD. FINALLY!!!), and I'm going to settle in one place for a very. Long. Time. No 'ifs' or 'buts' or knowing that I'll be upping and leaving 'soon', because I've already done it - first to Israel, then to Tel Aviv.

At long last - I have finally become that boring person I've always wanted to be - content, settled in one place and with nothing much to say... and exhale...

For now, anyway. ;)

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